Being too busy has become the norm for most people. It’s become so common that it’s the knee jerk reaction many of us have when someone asks us how we’re doing. It’s almost as if we’re wearing busyness around like a badge of honor and the busier we are the better we get to feel about ourselves. Except the reality is that most women I meet are overwhelmed and stressed with constantly being on the go. It seems like there’s always something that needs to be done and they struggle to find time for the things that really matter to them because they’re just too busy. But the truth is, being busy is a choice.

Here’s What Being Busy Looks Like Both From the Inside and Outside

We say yes to things out of obligation. We say yes to try to make people happy. And we say yes to avoid confrontation. So we take on more than we can handle and before we know it, our lives become consumed by the demands of everyone else. But deep down inside we know we’re neglecting what we really want and need. So the feelings of resentment and regret start to bubble up as we realize that we’re too busy to pursue our bigger dreams and meet our true potential.

If you find yourself in this situation, it’s time to make a change before it’s too late. You deserve to create the freedom and fulfillment you crave, but it won’t come from continuing to choose to be too busy. Instead, you need to master these two skills: make bold decisions ahead of time and process your emotions.

1: Make Bold Decisions Ahead of Time So You Can Stop Being Busy

One of the main reasons we end up being too busy is because we make decisions in the moment based on what feels easy. We say yes to things because we want to be liked or avoid conflict, without considering the long-term consequences. To break free from this cycle, we need to start making bold decisions ahead of time based on our values and longer term dreams and goals.

Resource (blog post): Finding Your Values: A Guide For High Achieving Women

What does this mean? It means taking the time to think through our priorities and values, and making decisions that align with them. For example, if you value spending time with your family, you might decide to limit your work hours or turn down social invitations that conflict with family time. If you value your health, you might decide to prioritize exercise and healthy eating, even if it means saying no to certain social activities.

The key is to decide ahead of time and create a boundary. By making decisions ahead of time, you’re clear about what you want and you know why. This decreases the chances of saying yes when you want to say no or falling back into the trap of doing things based on how you’re feeling in the moment.

2: Process Your Emotions

Even with the best intentions it can be hard to stick to our decisions and avoid getting caught up in the busyness of life. This is where the skill of processing your emotions becomes a vital tool. Emotions are a powerful force that can influence what we do, often without us even realizing it. By learning to process our emotions, we can better understand ourselves and make more intentional decisions.

It starts with becoming aware of our emotions and giving ourselves permission to feel them. This can be uncomfortable, especially if we’re used to pushing our emotions aside, saying yes to avoid feeling any negative emotions, or distracting ourselves with busyness. But by allowing ourselves to feel our emotions and let them move through our bodies we learn how to create safety to feel our emotions. If we’re not afraid to feel all emotions (even the uncomfortable ones) then there’s nothing we won’t be able to do. And we become unstoppable.

Resource (blog post): This 3 Step Process Will Help You Feel Your Feelings

By mastering these two skills, you can break free from the cycle of saying yes to everything and everyone and exhausting yourself by being too busy. And once you break this cycle you’ll notice that you create more time for the things you really want to do.

If you’re ready to start saying no so you can create more time for the things that matter most to you, head below and grab my free guide to saying no without feeling guilty.