Something hit differently for me when I turned 40. I felt like I was letting go of needing things to be a certain way and I started to get more curious about what I wanted moving forward. I felt like I was opening myself up to a whole new chapter of life – one that hadn’t already been written for me. If you’re turning 40 or have turned 40 recently, welcome to the next chapter of our lives – the chapter we get to write!

You’re Turning 40! It’s Time to Write Your Next Chapter

If you look at the rest of your life as a book with blank pages waiting to be written, how do you want your next chapter to look? How do you want it to feel? What do you want to be able to look back on and celebrate? What do you want to look back on and feel proud of? However you responded, that’s available to you if you give yourself permission to get curious, turn in and ask yourself the tough questions, and make some powerful decisions that only you can decide for yourself.

The Playbook We Were Given Before Turning 40

When we were in our late teens through our 30’s we didn’t really make very many decisions for ourselves. It was as if we were given a playbook, a playbook written by someone else for the masses. And it went a little something like this…

The Old Playbook

Be a good girl.

Do well at everything and smile while doing it all.

Go to college and get a good degree.

Get a good job with good benefits.

Marry a good guy.

Be a good wife.

Have kids.

Be a good mom with good kids.

Do all the things so everyone around you is happy and comfortable.

Keep doing everything just right so everyone wonders how you do it and how you have it all.

The end.

If you’re like me and so many of the women in my life, you’ve checked most of these boxes. And from the outside your life looks pretty good. And in many ways it is good.

But you’re done being a robotic side character in someone else’s very generic story.

You’re done being told who you should be and what you should do.

Turning 40 Means Giving Yourself Permission to Do Things Your Way

You’re now officially a grown ass woman who’s exhausted from doing it all, bored with the illusion of perfection, and ready to break out of all the boxes you’ve shoved yourself in in hopes of making everyone else happy and comfortable.

Yes, you know how to create success. It’s pretty easy actually. It’s like color by number – you just look at the key and do exactly what it says. 

But you’re ready to create a new kind of success. The kind of success that feels good inside despite what it looks like to everyone else. And this kind of success doesn’t have a script, a roadmap, or a rulebook. And while that can feel exhilarating and free, it can also feel scary and overwhelming. Because up until this point you’ve led a life and created success according to others’ expectations. So you haven’t built the skill of listening to what’s right for you and trusting that little voice inside. But that inner voice is getting louder and louder and louder. And you’re finally ready to learn to listen to and trust it.

Resource (blog post) The Beginning of my Midlife Reinvention

How to Get Started Writing Your Next Chapter

You’re smart. You’re creative. And you have gifts that the world is waiting for you to own. If you’re ready to dive into writing this next chapter and being the main character in your story, here are a few questions you can ask yourself to help you get started.

1. How do you want to feel?
2. What could you stop doing that doesn’t make you feel the way you want to feel? Decide how you want to begin to say no, create boundaries, and ultimately do less of those things.
3. What could you fold into your life that would allow you to feel more of the feelings you want to feel? Decide how you could add something small into your life today that would allow you to feel that way. And continue to fold more and more of these things into each day until you have many little things throughout your days that help you feel how you want to feel.

The way we live our days is the way we live our lives. So begin small and notice how with each day you’re creating more and more of the life you really want.

A Little Something for You!

If you love getting curious and exploring more about who you are and what you really want for this season of your life, I have something you’re going to love. Grab the journal prompts for self discovery below and set aside some time to learn more about who you are and who you’re becoming. Enjoy!