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Katrina K.


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Why Changing Can Feel So Hard

I recently had a coach friend describe my coaching work as deep dive coaching. She said she loves how I blend the depth of identity work that I do with a sense of playfulness, fun, and creativity in a way that she’s never seen done before. While changing can feel hard, I’ve found a way to make the process more enjoyable.

I love her explanation so much I just had to share it with you!

My coaching is deep identity work. But it’s also an art, the art of guiding you into Becoming You. 

I often think of the changing process my clients go through as being so similar to the caterpillar to butterfly transition.

How it Feels When Something’s Off

My clients often share that they begin working with me because something feels off. They struggle with what exactly they want and what they want to change or become, but they know with certainty that they feel discontent or they get the feeling that they’re just 5 degrees off course. They tell me they have a bubbling up inside that they can no longer ignore, an itch they can’t scratch, or they say they feel like they have an alien trying to fight its way out of their bodies.

I’ve heard these explanations so many times and every time, while my clients feel confused, frustrated, and stuck wondering what’s wrong with them, I see them. 

And I can connect so deeply with their stories and experiences because I too have had this experience, more than once. 

If this resonates with you, I see you too.

What We Misunderstand About the Changing Process

Here’s what we often misunderstand. 

We see the caterpillar to butterfly transition as being smooth and beautiful, a simple process of becoming more.

But that is so far from the truth.

The caterpillar is not a butterfly. It doesn’t have tiny little wings that become bigger. It doesn’t have the same cells as a butterfly. 

What actually happens is that the caterpillar transforms into a blob of goo. And while to us on the outside it looks like it’s a gentle, beautiful process of becoming, on the inside of the chrysalis the caterpillar cells notice the butterfly cells emerging. They see them as the biggest threat to their existence. So they go to war. They begin the process of fighting with everything they have to destroy the butterfly cells.

But the butterfly cells want so desperately to survive. So they band together and work to fend off the caterpillar cells while at the same time furiously working to multiply. 

This is a full on battle of identities.

Not unlike what my clients come to me experiencing. 

What my clients misunderstand is that this is the process of becoming.

It can feel like a battle inside. Because it is. 

They’re killing off and dissolving their current identity. And this is required to build their new one. This is the changing process.

Resources (blog post): Getting Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

You Don’t Have to Go Through This Changing Process Alone

So it’s no wonder that if you’re trying to do this work on your own it can feel like climbing a mountain in the rain, sleet, and snow without the proper training or equipment. You might reach your destination but the process will feel brutal and feel like it lasts a lifetime.

If you know you’re in the process of becoming and you’re ready to dissolve your past identity and intentionally decide who you want to become so you can grow your new butterfly wings and fly, you absolutely want to coach with me.

Click HERE to go to my Work with Me page to schedule your free clarity call and learn more about 1:1 coaching with me.

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