Most people think other people or things create how they feel. During the holidays they might think their family or all the events they have scheduled make them stressed. But that just isn’t true. Let’s dive into what is true so you know how to enjoy the holidays this year.

As I said, most people think other people or things create how they feel. Let’s take winning the lottery as our example of how this isn’t true.

Most people assume that if they win the lottery, everything in their life will change, or they at least think they’ll be happy.

You can exchange lottery ticket with whatever else you think is going to make you happy – losing weight, getting a new boss, finding love, having more money, going on vacation, having a baby, getting a new car, getting a different job, starting your own business, or whatever else you want to plug in.

But here’s the truth.

None of those things create your feelings. 

We Create Our Feelings With Our Thoughts

We are always creating our feelings by what we’re thinking.

If I think my husband is responsible for my happiness, I give away my ability to create my own happiness. Then I can’t feel happy without him doing something specific for me. And I’m left powerless waiting for him to do the thing that I think is going to make me happy.

The same thing is true with the stress of the holidays. 

Your mother-in-law, the events on your calendar, and finding the perfect gifts aren’t what create your stress. It’s what you’re choosing to believe about them. You’re always creating your current reality with your thoughts.

If you want to change what you’re experiencing, get curious and notice what you’re thinking. Notice how that feels in your body. And then decide if that’s what you want to continue to think and feel. If not, you get to decide intentionally what you want to think instead. (Just make sure it’s something you actually believe.)

Here’s an example to help this make more sense. Let’s stick with the stress of everything you have to do during the holiday season.

Resource (blog post): How to Manage Your Holiday Stress

First of all, if you want to know how to enjoy the holidays start by remembering that there’s nothing you ‘have’ to do. Really, there isn’t. There are natural consequences you’ll face for not doing things, but what you do is always a choice. So stop telling yourself repeatedly that you have to do this or that. Stop reminding yourself regularly that the holidays are so stressful. Stop telling yourself the story that there’s too much to do.

What You Tell Yourself Creates Your Reality

When you say these things, you create them as your reality.

Instead, ask yourself what else you believe about the holiday season. Get curious about what you want to feel. Notice what you’d need to tell yourself if you wanted to feel calm, for example. Get curious about what you’d repeat to yourself if you wanted to be excited and have fun during the holidays.

And then come back to that belief over and over and over again and notice how your experience changes without needing anyone or anything else to do that for you.

However you want to experience this holiday season is available to you – with the family you have, with the events you already have scheduled, with the Christmas list that’s growing. 

Take back your power so you can be present in the magic of the holiday season with the life you currently have.

Resource (blog post): 10 Mindful Ways to Enjoy the Holiday Season

If you notice that you have things on your holiday list that you want to say no to but you struggle to say no without feeling guilty, I have the perfect gift for you. Head below and grab my free guide to saying no without feeling guilty.