One of the things I like to remind myself is that building my business gets to be hard sometimes. We often jump into our businesses from a passionate and excited place so when it gets hard we think something’s wrong with us or we start to question whether or not we’re on the right path. Reminding myself that sometimes it gets to be hard, just like any other job or learning experience, is so helpful.
I also like to remind myself that sometimes it gets to be easy. There are times when things happen unexpectedly or when I create something from “out of the blue.” Appreciating those experiences and not taking them for granted helps make this business building journey so much more enjoyable.
But what happens when things aren’t easy and when building our businesses feels really hard?
Resource (blog post): If Running Your Business Feels Hard, You’re Doing it Right. Here’s Why
First, let’s talk about two different kinds of hard – hustle and personal growth.
Hustle is putting hard deadlines on what you want to create and taking massive action thinking that as soon as you create the result you’ll feel different, be different, or believe something different about yourself.
When we’re in hustle mode, we set goals and if we don’t meet the exact goal in the way we expected, we make it mean something negative about who we are. So maybe you say you’re going to sign a client by the end of the month. You go out and do all kinds of things to sign a client. But when you don’t sign a client, you make it mean that you’re not smart enough, you’re lazy, you can’t build a business while being a mom, you’re not committed enough, you don’t know enough, you can’t sign clients while working full time, you’re too fat, you’re too old, you’re too multi-passionate to be successful, or any other similar flavor of mean girl comments.
Along with saying these types of comments to yourself, you’re typically thinking about and worrying about what everyone else is going to say or think about you too.
When you’re in hustle mode you don’t celebrate your growth. You don’t recognize who you’re becoming on the journey toward creating the results you want. You don’t celebrate the things you’ve learned or the ways you’ve changed. Instead you focus solely on the fact that you didn’t meet the goal and you make that mean that YOU are a failure, not that you failed to meet the goal, but that you as a human are a failure.
When you’re in this mode, who you are as a human and your worthiness as a human is directly tied to whether or not you met the goals you set.
When we’re in hustle mode we tend to think faster is better, more is better, and we usually believe there’s a right way. So if we didn’t create the result we wanted, we make that mean that we are wrong which sends us looking to someone else to help us find the right way to be.
Notice that at this point it’s easy to slip into a shame cycle, thinking that shaming ourselves will motivate us to create the results.
But shaming ourselves NEVER works! It takes the joy out of the process and leaves us spinning in not enoughness where everything feels really hard.
This type of hard is one that I help my clients opt out of every. single. day.
You are worthy as a human being, period. There’s nothing you need to do or achieve in order for that to be true.
Now that you know you’re worthy, your job as an entrepreneur is to learn to separate your results from your worthiness.
This is the other type of hard and it’s the hard that’s worth committing to and allowing.
From this place, you set goals and you commit to becoming the person who can create and hold space for those results.
This is the hard work of unlearning, unraveling, undoing, and unshaming.
It’s the work of peeling back the layers of what you see about yourself based on what everyone else has said that you are. It’s the work of peeling back the layers of what you believe about yourself based on what everyone else says you should be, do, and have.
It’s the work of turning in and seeing yourself for who you really are. It’s the work of meeting yourself for the first time. It’s the work of coming home to you, the real, genuine, whole, YOU.
From this place you will set goals and sometimes you won’t meet them. But instead of making it mean that something is wrong with you, you’ll evaluate the process and choose what you want to make it mean and what you want to do about it.
You will likely feel disappointment or sadness and you’ll let that be okay. You will let yourself be human and experience the emotions that come along with the human experience. But you’ll continue to choose to believe in yourself and separate the results you create from your worthiness as a human.
What’s hard here is that you’re rebuilding the relationship you have with yourself. You’re choosing to interact with yourself and your goals in new ways. You’re trusting yourself. And you’re choosing to do things on your terms.
When you do this work, you’re able to step out unabashedly as who you are, being witness to all that you are without judgment. You give yourself permission to lead yourself with loving, open curiosity.
This is hard work.
But it’s the hard work that allows us to become who we are and create what we want most in our lives. Remind yourself that this gets to be hard sometimes.
And as it gets hard, you double down.
You double down on continuing to learn about who you really are.
You double down on knowing your deepest soulful desires.
You double down on letting others be wrong about you.
You double down on continuing to show up for the woman you’re becoming and the life you want to live.
You double down on creating safety to show up boldly as yourself.
You double down on becoming you and living fully into the amazing human you are.
Both paths to building your business are hard. Choose your hard.
If you’re ready to learn the art of becoming an entrepreneur, both the unraveling and the rebuilding, so that you can create massive success personally and in your business, I would love to help you.
I designed my 1:1 coaching program, The One, for the woman who is intimately familiar with hustling and creating results but who’s now ready to build her business and create results in an entirely different way. She’s ready to start by rebuilding the relationship she has with herself so she knows what she wants, trusts herself, and shows up and creates what she wants in a way that is best for her.
If you’re ready to commit to building your business from the inside out, email me HERE to learn more.
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