You are designed to feel all emotions because you’re human. If you do that, you will feel better. Somewhere along the way, though, you were taught that feeling emotions is a negative thing you should fear. So instead of feeling your emotions, what you often do is react to them, push them out of the way, or avoid them by choosing to do something else that covers them up.
When you do this, you feel better, or you think you do, in the moment. The emotions are temporarily masked and you move on thinking you avoided them or got rid of them. The interesting thing is that they didn’t actually go away. They got pushed down or covered up, but they weren’t processed. So they show up in different ways or show up stronger in other situations.
When you approach your feelings like this you’re building the skills of avoiding or resisting your emotions. This skill you are building is called buffering. Buffering is when you choose to do something to avoid your real feelings so you don’t actually have to feel them. The actions you choose might be things like overeating, over drinking, overspending, or overworking.
Those actions all have negative consequences. So, you end up having to deal with the reality of the negative results you create when you aren’t willing to feel your feelings.
If you really want to learn to feel better, there are a few truths you need to understand.
Pin this for later:
Most people think that when they finally achieve something they will be happy. When they finally lose the weight, life will be amazing. When they have more money, they will finally have the life they want. But, those thoughts aren’t true.
I think about how often I’ve lost weight only to realize that losing weight didn’t solve my problems. Then I felt disappointment which led me to sabotage my results. When the reality sets in and the negative emotions are still there, people often self sabotage. They aren’t prepared for the negative feelings because they thought those would no longer exist.
Remember, as humans we are meant to have all emotions. We think we are meant to be happy all the time. So, when we aren’t happy all the time we think something is wrong with us. That is simply not true!
What we need to learn is that having all emotions is part of the human experience.
Then we need to learn to process our emotions so we can feel better on purpose.
I think the skill of processing emotions is one of the most powerful skills we can learn. When you build your understanding of this process and you practice this, the possibilities for your life are endless. You will know that you can do anything because you’ll know you can handle any emotion that presents itself to you.
If you’re not afraid of how you’re going to feel, then there won’t be any action you aren’t willing to take for yourself. This is the skill that opens every possibility for you to intentionally create the life you want.
Helping my clients learn to manage their emotions is one of the key tools I teach in my 1:1 coaching program. If you want help with this, sign up for a complimentary consultation call by leaving a comment below.
What are you waiting for? Commit to learning to manage your emotions so you can finally take the actions that will help you create the life you want to live.
Pin this for later.
Leave a note